Counted

For so many years
I’ve been counting
The seconds, the minutes
The days, the weeks
The months, the years
I’ve reached this state
Wherein I can no longer
Tally all those wasted moments
Of my shattered life

I’ve counted
The friends that came and left
I’ve counted
The tears that fell, and are still falling
As we speak
I’ve counted
The alibis I used
To rationalize everything
In my mind

I’ve counted
The songs I’ve sung
To divert my time
I’ve counted
The lies I’ve told
To avoid castigation
I’ve counted
The many reasons
Why I still must feel I’m blessed

But at the end of the day
I’m still adrift
Hanging in between
The words barrenness and desperation
I delved inside the frozen soul
That was mine
And I got lost, trying to find myself
No use counting….
No use connecting….